


Kind Hearts and Coronets

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Mairelon the Magician - Patricia Wrede
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-22
Updated: 2005-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-25 01:29:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1624346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kim finds out that there's more to Aunt Agatha than meets the eye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kind Hearts and Coronets

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Adina

 

 

For Adina, who wanted something sympathetic to Aunt Agatha, either when she was younger or around the time of Kim and Mairelon's wedding. I tried to do both, and was a little surprised at the result. Hope you enjoy it.

** Kind Hearts and Coronets **

_It's not fair,_ Kim thought, pressing her face deeper into her pillow. _Mairelon gets all the breaks._

Her dashing bridegroom had gone out of town with Lord Shoreham for the day, to study some odd magical contraption that had been dreamed up by a country wizard. _And how I would have loved to go with them. But oh no, I had to stay here and be stuck full of pins by the dressmaker._

The date for her and Mairelon's wedding was getting closer by the minute-- _three more months_ \--and Kim was finding herself caught in a net of social calls and dressmaking dates that became tighter with every day that passed. The preparations for her coming-ball had seemed ridiculous in the extreme to her at the time; now Kim had a new standard of insanity to measure events by. Some days she did nothing but stand still for a dressmaker until her feet ached and her temper grew explosively short; Mairelon was still dealing with the fallout from the business with that rum cove Mannering and was never home for her to complain to, and Aunt Agatha...

Kim punched her pillow reflexively at the thought of Mairelon's prim, stick-in-the-mud aunt. _Aunt Agatha is driving me absolutely mad!_

The little bit of camaraderie that had sprung up between herself and Aunt Agatha from when they had taken on Mannering together (and Kim had to admit that without Aunt Agatha there, things probably would gone a good deal worse than they had) had swiftly died with the swarm of Kim's forthcoming nuptials. Now, whenever Kim could snatch a spare moment from the endless toil of dressmaking and wedding niceties, Aunt Agatha would march in, a formidably big book of etiquette at her side, and force Kim to learn from it. She seemed determined to hector Kim to death with the rules of Society and propriety, and today's had been a particularly grueling session...

_Kim was tired, hungry and not in the mood to recite the correct order of precedence for going down to dinner. "Enough!" she'd finally snapped, pushing the book away and glaring at Aunt Agatha's coolly expressionless face. "What do I need this for anyway? Mairelon's not in the habit of giving fancy dinners, and neither am I."_

Aunt Agatha remained unmoved, but her lips pursed into a small, tight bud."Fortunate as you are in your choice of bridegroom, you need it because like it or not, the Merrills have a position and a reputation to maintain, and you will be almost certainly be called upon at some point in the future to demonstrate that you are aware of this and able to defend it if needs be." She paused, then sniffed. "Especially given your rather dubious background."

"Bah! No one cares what wizards do anyway," Kim said, with a wave of her hand at the book. "Everyone already knows that Mairelon and I ain't exactly up to scratch with this social stuff to begin with."

Aunt Agatha's expression grew even more remote and forbidding. "This is exactly what I was talking about. Despite the...freedom...Society grants those who are of the wizardly persuasion, being a wizard does not entirely excuse one from the demands of Society, or its notice." She studied Kim for a minute, then added delicately "Have you already forgotten what happened to Richard during that regrettable incident with the Saltash Set?"

Kim's frown deepened. No she hadn't, and while Mairelon seemed to be mostly unbothered by the whole thing--he really could care less about Society, something Kim heartily endorsed him in--the rampant gossip over Mairelon's role in the theft had caused a rift between him and his older brother Andrew, which she knew had pained him deeply. Before she could defend herself however, Aunt Agatha had already risen and was by the door before Kim could get a word out. As she was leaving, she paused, and added:

"If I can not get you to think of your own and Richard's well-being, than perhaps you will think of your descendants' well-being instead. You must do well if they are to cherish any hope of rising in the world--and I do hope that any future peers of the realm this family may produce will be secure enough in their position not to be shamed by the fact that their great-grandmother was a street-thief."

Just thinking about it made Kim's mouth tighten with outrage. _I shouldn't even care. It's Mairelon's opinion that matters, and he doesn't. Even so..._

She lay still for a minute more, than reluctantly climbed out of bed. _Maybe I can talk Lady Wendell in getting her to lay off me, even if it's just for a little while. Before I end up punching Aunt Agatha in the face and really shocking Society._

Grinning at the thought, she made her way downstairs, where the butler informed her Lady Wendell was currently in the parlor. Kim pushed open one of the heavy double doors and stepped inside. "Lady Wendell--" she started, then faltered when she saw who was inside. _He didn't tell me she had company!_

Lady Wendell and her visitor both looked up expectantly and Kim had to convert her face into a polite smile. _I can't talk to Lady Wendell while she's here._ Sally, Lady Jersey, was only the most notorious gossip in London (if not all of England) and even though she was a dear friend of Lady Wendell's, that wouldn't stop her from taking any interesting little tidbits Kim happened to drop and spreading them throughout Society. She bobbed a greeting to Lady Jersey, and slowly made her way inside. It would be impolite to just turn around and leave; now she was trapped.

Mairelon's mother wore an expression of serene inquiry. "Yes, Kim?"

"I just...oh, nothing," Kim said, studiously picking at a loose thread on her gown. "Actually, I wanted to ask when the dressmaker would be coming by again?"

Before Lady Wendell could answer her lame question, the butler appeared in the door. "Pardon me, madam, but a messenger from Lord Ruthven has come, asking for Mister Richard Merrill. When I informed him that Mister Richard was not at home, he insisted that he must speak with you."

"Lord Ruthven..." Lady Wendell mused, absently tapping a finger against the cup of wine she held. "Ah! It must be about the illusions for the wedding; please do excuse me, dears."

Once Lady Wendell had left, Kim sat in awkward silence. _Lady Jersey is all right, I guess, but even the simpliest things can set her off. What'll I say?_

"You look troubled Kim," Lady Jersey said, her expression kindly but intent. She held a fan of brilliant yellow-and-green Chinese silk in one hand and a cup of wine in the other; her eyes were riveted on Kim's face.

Kim swallowed. "I'm f-fine, I guess. Just..busy with the wedding things, and all. The dressmaking, and the calls, and Aunt Agatha..." _Oops._

Lady Jersey gave a little laugh. "Agatha? Oh my. I can see why you're troubled. I suppose she's being her usual sweet self, and that's put that hunted expression on your face. Though, given the circumstances, I suppose I can't fault her for being cross. Weddings and marriage are hardly a favorite subject of hers."

"Why?" Kim asked, interest overriding caution. "Weddings are supposed to be happy times, aren't they?"

Lady Jersey almost choked with shock on the sip of wine she'd taken. "Oh my dear! You can't mean to say you _don't know_ the story of Agatha's sad past? Why even the word marriage is abhorrent to her? You _must_ have wondered to yourself why she never re-married, after being widowed so young. Well, I can certainly fix that! It all began many years ago--"

"Hold up a second!" _Sad past? Widowed young? I never heard any of this before. What's she talking about? Aunt Agatha certainly doesn't act like a tragic heroine._ "Is it really all right for you to be telling me this? It sounds serious."

Lady Jersey looked at Kim affectionately and gave her arm a little squeeze. "My dear, it's far better that you hear the story from me--why I'm almost a member of the family--than from heavens know who. _Truth will out,_ and I can at least tell the story accurately and delicately. Poor Agatha's story is quite a tragic one.

This all began...oh, many years ago," Lady Jersey said, working her fan back and forth languidly. "I won't shame poor dear Agatha by relating just how many years it has been, but all this is _quite_ in the past. Now my dear, it may shock you to learn that Agatha was not always as you see her now. Yes indeed! she used to be a high spirited, laughing, romping thing."

The sheer absurdity of this made Kim's mouth drop open. _Aunt Agatha? Laughing? Romping? Is Lady Jersey certain she's talking about the same woman?_

"Oh, she was still proud," Lady Jersey continued, serenely unaware of Kim's amazement. "Always proud. But not so cold and not so proper, and beautiful---that auburn head of hers was the envy of many a girl from London to Kent." She sighed, her eyes moving to watch some invisible, distant sight; Kim supposed she was looking back at the revels of her far off youth. The fan fluttered once, then went still.

"They used to place bets on which of us would receive the greatest numbers of callers during the Season...but I digress! Callers never meant much to Agatha anyway and she spurned them all--for her heart had been given away, long ago...

But to explain that I must return to the beginning of things, mustn't I? You see Kim, Agatha was the only girl in a family of five--four boys and her almost the youngest! This, and her mother dying when she was quite young, ensured that she would be spoilt and petted far more than is common or right. No one could lift a finger to tell her otherwise--and poor, dear, Mr. Merrill refused to remarry to give her a mother's proper care, because he had loved his wife far too much and couldn't bear the idea of replacing her with another...though if he had done his duty, things would have been _quite_ different, I must tell you." She shook her head; the fan resumed its slow dance. "Loving too much...that does seem to be a Merrill family failing..."

"How is that such a bad thing though?" Kim managed to interject when Lady Jersey stopped for air. She had to admit that she felt slightly nettled by Lady Jersey's words. _Is she including Mairelon in that too? Loving too much...isn't that better than not loving at all? I lived almost my whole life without love before I met Mairelon, and that was certainly no picnic._ She allowed herself a small, inconspicuous snort. _Bet those toffs wouldn't be complaining about "too much love" if they'd walked about in my shoes for a bit._

"Oh, my dear!" Lady Jersey looked at her in shock, her painted eyebrows high on her face, then took a sip of wine as if to compose herself. "Well, I suppose it might be difficult for one so young to understand. After all, you haven't seen the things I have...the tragedy that strikes when passion runs amuck..."

Lady Jersey was clearly enjoying herself, the fan now fluttering excitedly through the air. "Passion...yes, that was the root of it. Where was I? Oh yes! As I was saying, Agatha was headstrong and did as she pleased. Since she had no mother to teach her a lady's ways, she spent her time running about through the fields and gardens with her brothers. Her brothers, and a distant relation of theirs that was often with them, as _his_ mother was also gone, and he had no brothers or sisters to lighten that burden. That was Edward Lowe."

Aunt Agatha was Mrs. Lowe. "He was her husband?"

Lady Jersey gave a small dry laugh and tapped her fan against her skirts as if for emphasis. "Husband-to-be at that point. He and Agatha's older brother George--that would be Elizabeth's own dear George--were especial friends, and she was with them more than any of the others. Edward and George were both wizards, you see, and while Agatha--"

"She doesn't have any magical talent, I know," Kim said without thinking, then flushed at Lady Jersey's look of annoyance.

 _"Quite._ As I was saying, Agatha and the youngest brother Michael were the only ones in the family who did not share the talent for magic. She liked to say that the lack was her one fault--but it never seemed to really bother her then. She used to help them with their magical experiments, even though it can be quite dangerous for one lacking ability to be entwined in wizard's doings. But she never minded the danger, for George was her favorite brother, and Edward, she had fallen in love with at first sight."

This was all becoming more and more unreal to Kim. Helping with dangerous magical experiments? Aunt Agatha always seemed to have a faint distaste for magic; now she was helping her wizard brother? Aunt Agatha falling in love at first sight? Aunt Agatha in love at all? "How do you--" she began cautiously.

"How do I know that she loved him? It's quite simple; she never hid it. She positively gloried in it. Agatha let it be known far and wide that she was in love with Edward and made no secret of her cherished belief that she and Edward would one day be wed." Lady Jersey stopped fanning, and leaned forward to look directly into Kim's eyes, lowering her voice dramatically. "But the tragedy of it my dear, is that Edward _loved another._ "

 _Loved another._ In the midst of her confusion, Kim could still appreciate Lady Jersey's flair for expression. _She should have been on the stage, she really should._ "But then why--how could---" Kim sputtered.

"Edward had never returned Agatha's feelings as strongly as she wished," Lady Jersey went on calmly. "He thought of her as his dear sister, nothing more. Everyone knew this--except, sadly, Agatha herself. And when Edward and George came to London to continue their magical studies, they made the acquaintance of a young man from, shall we say, the _lower_ classes, who was also studying magic. This young man had a sister who lived with him and like him, had a talent for wizardry. The girl's name was Sophie Vance, and she and Edward soon possessed what I suppose was an _understanding._ Of course, their tete-a-tete did not go unnoticed by Society! Wizards do not often care for the social niceties, which is how they can become mixed up with all sorts of unsuitable people--" Kim bristled, and Lady Jersey laid a comforting hand on her arm.

"Of course I don't mean _you_ , my dear. There are gems hidden in the rough here and there, and I was never acquainted enough with this Sophie Vance to know whether she was of that type--"

 _I'll bet you weren't,_ Kim thought sourly, though she managed to keep her face fairly calm. _Can't have Quality mixing with the lower classes, else they might see that they're people too. I'm just a very lucky--and very rare--exception._ Aunt Agatha's words from earlier were coming back to her again and once more, small hot prickles of anger moved in her belly: _I hope that any future peers of the realm this family may produce will be secure enough not to be shamed by the fact that their great-grandmother was a street thief._

Lady Jersey still rattled on, apparently oblivious to Kim's discomfort. "However, when word reached Mr. Lowe's ears that his only son and heir had taken up with a wizard girl--and one so low in Society, no less!--he became absolutely _furious._ The dear man had no great love for wizardry--an odd prejudice for one from a family with so many skilled in the Art to have, yes? He tolerated it in Edward, but let it be known that he would not stand for Edward bringing another wizard into the family, much less one with no family to speak of.

An ultimatum was cast: if Edward persisted in his relationship with Sophie Vance, he would be cut off without a penny; there was a nephew somewhere in the North who would inherit in his stead. Edward was close to his father, couldn't bear to disappoint him, and sadly, not strong to face a penniless future with the girl he loved. Sophie Vance was quietly let go.

And _here,"_ \--Lady Jersey's voice softened slightly--"is where poor Agatha comes in. Mr. Lowe was naturally eager to see Edward safely wedded, lest he be tempted by Sophie Vance, or another. He encouraged Edward to look to Agatha; she was beautiful, loving, already well-known to him, respectable beyond a fault and most importantly, completely unmagical. It would be his greatest joy to see them wed.

Now, as I have already mentioned, poor Edward did not care for poor Agatha in _that way._ But his father's health was failing, and Edward was loving and wished to please him in all things. For his poor father's sake, he swallowed any reservations he might have had, and they were wed within the month. Agatha believed that Edward was finally returning her love, you see, and she was so radiantly happy that it _hurt_ to look at her. Because all was not well, though she didn't know it. So in love--and so blinded--"

She took out a dainty square of lace, and dabbed at the corners of her eyes. "Forgive me, Kim, but it's all coming back to me as I speak--the sadness of it all..."

There soft footsteps in the hallway and Kim glanced at the doors behind her, wondering if Lady Wendell had finished and was returning to them. A few minutes passed, with no sign of Lady Wendell; _must have been one of the servants passing by,_ Kim decided, and turned back to Lady Jersey, who was still patting her damp eyes.

"As before, Agatha made no secret of her love for Edward, and she _flourished_ in their marriage. She was constantly by his side, accompanying him everywhere, never giving him a moments' time alone. Constantly talking about how happy they were. Edward, it was noticed never spoke of their happiness; it was all Agatha. Whispers started flying around, about the shamelessness of Agatha's feelings and the haunted look in Edward's eyes...

Mr Lowe died only a few months after the marriage took place, and--oh, it's a terrible thing to say--but now that he was free of his father, Edward soon returned to his old ways. Gossip soon placed at Sophie Vance's side once more. He defended it by claiming that he was simply visiting her brother, whom she still lived with; Alexander Vance was a dear friend of his and a fellow wizard, so why should he not go to see him? But everyone noticed that he'd felt no inclination to visit with the Vances before his father died...the father that had kept him from his true love, the father who was now gone...

Agatha was neither to hold nor bind, and scornfully refused to listen to the rumors. Just gossip, she said, tossing that head of hers. Mere trash. Her love allowed her to ignore the glances and snickers that followed them about, that tracked every movement of Edward's and kept count of the number of times he was at the Vance's...Perhaps if Agatha had not been so proud and loving and blind..."

Lady Jersey trailed off, and sat very still for a few moments in silence. "Poor Agatha," she finally whispered. "It seems as if it were only yesterday when this all happened. When her happiness was cruelly cut short." She seemed to be gathering strength for her next words, and when she spoke, it was with none of the animation of her earlier telling.

"Then, nearly a year after Edward and Agatha had wed, Alexander Vance came home in the wee hours of the morning to find Edward and Sophie lying dead together on the floor."

Kim gasped out of pure shock, one hand flying to her mouth in a vain attempt to hide the noise. _Of all the things I was expecting, it wasn't this. Aunt Agatha... I thought maybe he'd ran off with Sophie Vance, not died with her!_

Lady Jersey patted her free hand, then pressed a cup of the wine into it. "I know, dear," she said sympathetically. "It's so horrible--so shocking, isn't it? Take a few sips, and that will help you bear it."

Even after sipping the wine (which tasted and smelled, in Kim's opinion, like rotten fruit--something she'd had far too much experience with) it took a few minutes for Kim's voice to return. "How did it happen?" she asked finally, her voice still shaky.

Lady Jersey sighed. "Well, the _official_ explanation was that Sophie and Edward had been experimenting together with some sort of new and dangerously unstable spell that got out of their control and killed them. But considering the circumstances--wizards are allowed far more social leeway than we ordinary folk, but not to the point where they are allowed to practice magic with their former paramour in the small hours of the night while their wife sleeps unknowing a few streets over! Even with wizards it is _simply not done._ It didn't take long at all for word to circulate that Edward and Sophie had taken their own lives. Edward simply couldn't bear to keep betraying a wife who loved him so much, and whose love he could not return..."

"And Aunt Agatha?" Kim asked hesitantly.

"Well, the tragedy couldn't help but shatter her illusions. Poor Agatha was torn out of the cocoon of her love and faced with the harsh truth; Edward had always loved Sophie Vance, not her. She couldn't help but hear the snickering, the whispers and the innuendo; that she had driven Edward to it out of despair of being coupled with a wife he could not love, that she had trapped him into marriage, that she was so besotted she couldn't see what was going on under her very nose. If she had opened her eyes and managed him better, this wouldn't have happened. Poor little fool; she thought what she had was something different, something special, and many in Society took great glee in casting up all the ways that she'd been fooled. The scandal was the talk of Society for months afterward.

In grief, Agatha withdrew from Society. Her last public appearance was at Edward's funeral; she disposed of their property, then returned to her father's house in Kent, away from it all. She stayed there, locked away from Society, from everything, for _two years._ Seeing no one but her own family, and speaking to no one, not even old friends such as I, who wished to comfort her. The Merrill family suffered under the shadow with her; there was very little fun in the family for quite a long time, if you understand my meaning! When she finally emerged--" Lady Jersey's expression was grave "--she had altered beyond all recognition. The Agatha of old was gone, never to return. Her hair had gone quite grey in seclusion and in her eyes, there was a new hardness that had not been there previously. Despite the whispers, she kept her head high and behaved as if nothing had happened, and gradually the storm of talk that accompanied her return died away. Her propriety ensured that in time, everyone quite simply forgot what had happened, and those who were told could not believe it. How could any sort of scandal dare attach itself to the relentlessly proper Mrs. Lowe? Because--"

"Because I knew what was expected of a lady in my position and strove to maintain those expectations, no matter what the cost," a voice said coldly from the doorway, and Kim's head snapped up and around. Aunt Agatha stood there, body perfectly still and hands clasped neatly in front of her, but a bright spot of color burned high on each cheek. "Which means not repeating gossip, no matter how many years old, that may embarrass or otherwise discomfort a person!"

 _She must have come up in that sneaky way of hers while Lady Jersey was talking. Those footsteps I heard before...those must have been hers. Cor! How much did she hear? Plenty, from the look on her face._ Kim jumped to her feet, an apology ready on her lips. ."Wait, Aunt Agatha--" But she was already gone, and Kim had no choice but to run after her, no matter how rude it was to Lady Jersey.

Aunt Agatha walked very quickly for someone of her age. By the time Kim caught up with her, she'd ascended the second floor staircase and was part-way up the third. Kim managed to take her arm before she could get any further, and Aunt Agatha turned on her in righteous indignation. "Ladies do _not_ grab--"

"Even if it's something really important?" Kim asked, not relinquishing her grip. "Please Aunt Agatha. I just want you to talk to me."

"I don't see why," she replied crisply, looking down at Kim's upturned face, eyes narrowed. "It seems that Lady Jersey has already told you quite enough."

"Lady Jersey's nice enough, but she's a gossip and I'll bet there's stuff she doesn't know, or stuff that's just plain wrong. I know how gossip can twist things about a person. _Please,_ Aunt Agatha."

For a moment, Kim thought she wasn't going to response; then her mouth worked slightly and her arm relaxed. "Fine. However, we shall go to your room instead of holding a conversation in the stairwell, where anyone can overhear."

Once they were safely inside Kim's room, with the door shut fast behind them, Kim tried to apologise. "I'm sorry Aunt Agatha. I shouldn't have let Lady Jersey...it was was wrong--"

To Kim's immense surprise, Aunt Agatha's expression was more neutral than angry. She waved away Kim's words with a hand as if they were nothing more than air instead of a clumsy attempt to make things right. "Sally Jersey," she said dryly, "has been completely incapable of holding her tongue for more than five minutes ever since she was a child of six. I should have known that she would get around to the subject sooner or later. The fault is not yours, Kim."

"I'm still sorry though," Kim said softly. "It wasn't your fault either. It wasn't right."

Aunt Agatha's mouth pinched into a thin line, and she looked away from Kim, over at some object on the other side of the room. "What you must understand, Kim, is that even if there is no fault to be found, people will _manufacture_ it." She looked back at Kim. "Do you see now, why I have tried to raise you with strictness? If scandal breaks, it is not only you who will suffer. It will be the entire Merrill family and everyone closely connected with them. Behave with foolish exuberance instead of propriety and you court disaster."

"It's still not fair!" Kim said heatedly. "You shouldn't have to shut all your emotions up in a box just because some bloke might decide to make something of it! That's no way to live!"

"You still don't understand, Kim. It may not be "a way to live" but for me, _it is all I have."_ Her mouth blossomed into a small, crooked smile, and just for a second, Kim saw the ghost of the girl she'd once been. "Wizards are more fortunate in that regard. They will always have a choice between Society and wizardry; no one looks askance at a female wizard working alongside her male counterparts. But for regular woman, despite Society's many faults, it is the only path open to us. Given a choice between living shut away at home and Society, I will choose Society."

 _She's a little jealous isn't she,_ Kim slowly realized. _That's why she's always harping on me--because I have a kind of freedom that she never had and never will...and a husband I know for certain loves me..._ She hung her head. "I see what you mean," she said after a moment. "But it's still not right. You should be able to do whatever you want, however you want."

Aunt Agatha raised an eyebrow. "No one will ever have that kind of freedom as long as there are others around to talk and watch. Now, if you'll excuse me...I believe that Lady Greene expressed interest in coming by to see me today---"

She walked to the door, then paused and turned back towards Kim, her hand on the knob. "I've made a comfortable space in my box, and I shall continue to lie in it. There are greater rewards to come, after all, and I may never have freedom, but I have found contentment."

"Aunt Agatha," Kim blurted out just after she'd stepped out the door. "Would you...I'd like it, if you would stand with me and Mairelon and Andrew and Lady Wendell. At the wedding, I mean," she said, and braced herself.

For a minute, all Kim saw was her back. Then Aunt Agatha turned, something like a small smile flickering over her lips. "Of course. I would be delighted. After all, someone has to keep a watchful eye on things, since Richard certainly won't," she said, then closed the door gently behind her.

Kim stared, then couldn't help laughing, grabbing her pillow and pressing her face into it to muffle the sound. _Of course she won't change right away, or maybe ever,_ she thought, grinning, feathers prickling her nose. _But now...I think I can handle her._

 


End file.
